Gadgets have given us tons of opportunities. But at the same time, an unexpected problem has popped up.

We have begun to lose the skill of normal human communication. Whereas before it was normal to talk to a stranger on the street, today for most of us it is a real stress. What’s more, a huge number of people feel uncomfortable and even afraid when they need to simply call someone on the phone.

We have become so accustomed to interacting on the internet that communication in real life scares us. And, even worse, our brains are gradually beginning to forget how to read nonverbal cues, because they are being replaced by emojis and smileys. But there is good news — social skills can be trained. Read on to learn more about how to do this.

The phenomenon of “phone phobia”: why it’s easier for us to write than to speak

Many people suffer from so-called “phone phobia” — when an incoming call causes anxiety. Why have phone conversations become such a challenge? The fact is that when we speak, we lose some control. When we write, we have time between stimulus and response. We can choose the right words, reread what we have written, edit the message, or not send it at all. In a live conversation, we don’t have that option — we have to respond to what is said instantly. All of this triggers anxiety, especially in sensitive people.

From a psychological point of view, avoiding live communication is a defensive reaction. When we write, we are in a kind of “safety bubble.” We can respond to a message when we have the time and mood, or not respond at all. But when we talk on the phone, we are required to be involved in the here and now. In addition, it is easy to hide your true emotions in writing. We may be boiling with emotion inside, but our text will be restrained and dry. In conversation, however, our trembling voice or intonation may give us away. That is why many of us find it easier to send a dozen messages in a messenger app than to make a phone call.

But avoidance is a strategy that does more harm than good in the long run. Our brain remembers: “Call = danger.” And the longer we hide behind our screens, the stronger our fear becomes. But “phone phobia” is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many people who completely refuse any live interaction. The reasons are the same — messaging creates the illusion of a safe distance, while live communication is spontaneous and unpredictable. In addition, many people already have negative experiences with communication and therefore try to avoid situations that have traumatized them.

How to overcome fear and socialize

If you realize that live communication has become a challenge for you, it’s time to take action. The main thing is not to demand that you immediately become the life of the party. It is enough to simply take small steps in the right direction. Here are some tips to help you stop being afraid of interacting with people:

• Record voice messages. If the need to make a phone call depresses you, start with voice messages. You will always have the opportunity to re-record the message if something goes wrong. And you can delete it before your conversation partner listens to it. In addition, this will allow you to get used to the sound of your own voice and make adjustments if necessary.
• Order food and services by phone. To feel more confident, you need to practice communicating with strangers. For example, you can call a pizza place or make an appointment with a hairdresser by phone. Such conversations are usually short and predictable, because all you need to do is provide clear information. Therefore, this is a great way to practice communicating in a safe and comfortable environment.
• Practice small talk. Exchange a few words with your neighbor while riding the elevator, thank the cashier at the store and add a few words about the weather, or simply ask a passerby for directions, even if you know where to go. Such brief interactions teach your brain that the people around you are not dangerous and that communicating with them will not cause you any harm.
• Set a limit on messaging apps. Try to keep your correspondence to a minimum. If you need to tell someone something, call them. It will be difficult at first, but over time you will notice that most issues are resolved much faster over the phone than in writing. But don’t forget to ask the person beforehand if they are available to talk, as they may be busy. This will determine the mood in which they talk to you.

The most important thing is to practice your communication skills every day, but don’t force yourself. If you find it very difficult to talk to strangers in person, start by communicating online. For example, with video chats.

Chat roulette as a way to become bolder

Online cam chat is a great way to practice communication while remaining in a comfortable environment. Services such as Mirami have a large and active audience from all over the world. You communicate with strangers — the system automatically connects you with random users, and it is impossible to predict who your conversation partner will be. This unpredictability is only to your advantage, as you will learn to start conversations with anyone from scratch.

The main advantage of videochat is the ability to see and hear a person almost as if in real life. Here, you once again have access to all those non-verbal cues that are so lacking in correspondence. At the same time, you remain in complete control of the situation. If you don’t like your conversation partner, you can end the conversation at any time. Just press the “Next” button and start a new conversation in a few seconds.

And for those who lack the courage to start romantic relationships, https://coomeet.chat/mirami platform is worth checking out. It is a random chat where you can only communicate with the opposite sex. The system connects men only with women and vice versa.

By communicating in videochat roulette, you will eventually get used to the fact that strangers can be friendly and interesting. And you will feel more confident in real life. And don’t forget that gadgets are not meant to replace live communication. They are simply tools that help us find each other and stay in touch. But when we start hiding behind screens, we deprive ourselves of so much. So try to overcome your fear of live interaction step by step. After all, truly close and deep relationships can only be built in real life.